me to see and articulate that the people in power designing our laws and policies didn't often share nor understand the lived experience and compounding traumas of racial/ethnic discrimination, generational poverty, and displacement. Studying International Relations and Sociology only expanded my understanding of this reality to be global and rooted in systems of power, privilege, and oppression. I dedicated my next chapter to raising the voices of marginalized communities in policy-design and decision-making. Community organizing throughout college around environmental and racial justice issues, I eventually went to graduate school to become an urban planner, focused on community development and racial equity. I worked as a participatory planner for seven years, working with various low-income communities of color in New York City. I most recently served as Deputy Director of Neighborhood Planning at the NYC Department of Housing Preservation and Development.

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A Calling to Help Institutions Transform towards Justice and Equity

Simultaneously, I was active in transforming the urban planning profession to be more representative of the diverse communities that we serve, and to be accountable to planning's racist history. For my Master's Thesis, I conducted a comprehensive study on how to overcome barriers to recruiting and retaining planners of color. I collected over 300 survey respondents and 40 interviews and focus groups with planners of color on their experiences. I learned that collective action on the individual, interactional, and institutional level towards anti-racism was necessary for communities to heal. In 2015, I co-revived and co-chaired the Diversity Committee (DivComm) of the American Planning Association New York Metro Chapter, together with Tiffany-Ann Taylor. We cultivated a fierce community of multi-racial planners working towards equity and justice. We started and ran Hindsight - an annual all-volunteer-run conference on urban planning through an equity lens that drew over 1,000 participants. I eventually found myself in the position of professionally consulting and coaching social-sector organizations in social justice transformation.

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A Calling to Turn Inwards

My early life experiences led me to struggle with mental health challenges and chronic physical pain since I was a teenager. In my adulthood, my experiences as a person of multiple marginalized identities led me to adopt perfectionism and workaholism, to survive in a white, cis-gendered, hetero-, patriarchal, capitalist world. I centered my self-worth around my hard work and (over)giving to others. No matter all my accomplishments, I still experienced so much imposter syndrome and dis-belonging. I had a lot of internalized shame about not being enough (and shame about the shame, about the shame). On top of it all, intergenerational trauma as a colonized people still lingers in my body. For years, I ignored the dissonance between my body, mind, and spirit. I pushed forward, dedicating all my energy to the pursuit of justice and equity, justifying its urgency. I experienced anger, fatigue, depression, and burn out multiple times throughout my 20's. I came to understand that unless we each individually turn inwards, seek counsel in community, and heal from our own traumas, we will only continue to re-traumatize each other.